they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
