he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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