he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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