There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
