She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
