yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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