my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
