my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
