They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
