just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
