I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
