just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
