What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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