I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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