party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
