fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My ATM looks so different sober.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
