shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
