so that wasnt chicken after all
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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