Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
