so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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