I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
