the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
