It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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