hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
