I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
