apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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