yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
