she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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