The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
