I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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