At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
