Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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