lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
