we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
