Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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