i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
