i think my tv is drunk
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
