i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
