I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
