Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
