No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
