i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
