Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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