Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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