If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
