Swine flu is the new snow day.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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