I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
