And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
