just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
