What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
