My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
