theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
