I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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