dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
