Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
