those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
