Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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