He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
