is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
