His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
