someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
