I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We have started to decorate penises.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
