Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
