Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
