is wine microwaveable?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
